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| Updating |
| 08.03.04 (5:17 pm) [edit] |
Ok, I've not updated for a while :oops:
Anyway, what's been happening?
The girl I'm dating? Still with her.
It's going great!
I like her so much and we get on so well together :)
Ok, for kat and rach- Her name's steph.
She's 17 and deaf.
Umm... yeah, I think I talked to you about her, kat, right?
Anyway, soccer's been ok.
Played about 7 games. Been playing ok, but the team is doing really badly.
Oztag is great- won lots of games, scored lots of tries :)
Work is cool.
Uni kinda sucks.
Oh, I turn 21 in a couple weeks.
Friday August 13, to be exact :D
Having a party of sorts.
Family and friends are coming up and having dinner with my workmates and I.
Then those who want to are going to the casino.
And probably gettin pissed :oops:
Anyway!
It's good to have a partner, you know?
I go over her place a couple times a week and she comes over the days I don't go over.
We see each other almost every day and I stay over her place once a week.
It's just great.
There's no real drama, we have our little squabbles but we both get over them quickly.
We do stuff together.
We email each other and message each other all the time.
And it's great.
It's such a good relationship. We love each other but it's not TOO deep.
We have times where we're serious, but we also have lots of times where we have fun and laugh.
I've never had a relationship quite like this, but I love it.
It's incredible and I do love her.
And the weirdest thing is that we've not done it yet.
And we're closer than some couples who have.
We're taking it slowly and just having fun with each other and enjoying having someone to hold, someone to talk to about issues and someone who'll help the other.
But what annoys me is that my last girlfriend (who I talked about in an earlier Blog) has started messaging me almost every day sayin she misses me and she's sorry.
Which stirs up old emotions that I can't control.
When I have a great girlfriend.
Why does stuff like that happen when things are going well?
Why never when things are sucky?
Or when I'm single?
Bloody inconsiderate, it is.
Anyway, that's updated.
I'll email ya, speshy.
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| Alright already!!! |
| 06.08.04 (2:18 am) [edit] |
Ok, I'll update!
Uh, what's been happening with me?
Working....
Physio....
Dating ( :) ).....
Uh, I went to deaf camp a few weeks ago. As a teacher.
It was kinda weird but I felt Hella Powerful!!! :twisted:
Um... I made my comeback to soccer two weeks ago.
I've played two games and my shins are sore sometimes but they're much better.
I scored on saturday. Much Happiness :)
Uh, I've been playing Oztag...
If you don't know what Oztag is, it's like a non contact version of rugby league. And it's damn hard :)
Ummm....
Dating....
Well I'm seeing a girl I met a few weeks ago.
She's gorgeous, very sweet and I really really like her :)
Hmmm....
I haven't gone to work at one of my schools for the last 3 weeks....
I slept in one week....
Was very sick the next....
And slept in again!
I'm very bad, I expect I'll get in trouble soon :shock:
Yeah, I'm a rebel baby... :P
Umm... So I think that brings us up to date!
I got invited to speshy's 18th.... I think I will go... but it depends on if stu goes.
If he does we'll share a hotel in the city, if he doesn't... well it makes it awfully tough for me to go!
EVEN THOUGH I WANT TO!!! :(
Yup. Updated. *Nods head* job done!
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| My day.... |
| 05.05.04 (12:50 am) [edit] |
I had this really good topic that had my blood boiling but I forgot what it was as soon as i clicked 'add blog'.....
Fuck that.
So in desperation for a topic, I'll tell you what I did today.
I went shopping. I bought some food, and a new keychain to replace my lost one.... :(
And I put two pairs of shoes on layby....
I'll tell you about the shoes...
The first pair I put on layby were Asics Gel lethal shoes with blades on the bottom. They're for touch football etc, sports played on grass.
My physio told me to get a pair of them for soccer training cause they are not like soccer/football boots, they have a layer of cushioning in the sole, rather like normal shoes.
They absorb the shock when you run, and he reckons it will help reduce the pain from my shins.
They are really fucking comfortable. They cost 130 bucks.
The second pair are my dream shoes. Soccer boots.
Adidas Predator mania.... :)
Black, red and white. Red blades. Kangaroo leather (which means it's lighter than normal leather, but tougher too). Freaking comfortable.
And 220 bucks. But they are normally 280, I got 60 bucks off.
This is what I have wanted for the last 3 years. I looked at them longingly every time I walked past a sports store. I must have tried them on 20 times. I even dreamt about them a few times.
Now I'm earning good money I can afford them. I'm so over the moon... I didn't buy them both outright cause it is 350 bucks, after all. So i paid half and will pay the rest in two weeks, next payday.
I don't need them right now, so I can do that. I can't run for another week and I won't be able to train for two weeks.
The Asics ones are for Oztag and soccer training.
The PREDATORS (my god, I love that name) are for soccer games.
Life is certainly lookin' up.
Got a girl, got a good job, my soccer career will resume soon and my life ROCKS!
I'm gonna go to the video store and hire something. there's nothing on tv. Except Boston Public, but that's not for 6 more hours.
And I'll pick something up for dinner..... Red Rooster? Subway? Burger King? Decisions decisions decisions....
:lol:
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| My weekend.... |
| 05.02.04 (2:46 am) [edit] |
Was pretty good!!!
Even though I didn't play soccer ( :( ), I still had a good time in the city.
I got a freeeeeee trip to sydney cause I live on campus in uni in an area called 'international house'. It's half overseas students, half australian students.
And cause they're from overseas, IH students get two free trips a semester, one to sydney or melbourne (it alternates between years) and the other a snow trip.
Anyway, we went to sydney and stayed right in the middle of the city!
We went sightseeing, I met my dad and brother during my free time and had a great time.
And I kinda resolved things between me and this girl.
I ain't sure but I think we're 'together' now...
I do know we're seeing each other two weeks from now, we're going to get a room in the same hotel (travelodge- top class!) and go to star city casino and enjoy our fair city :)
Yeah, we hadn't been talking much cause we saw each other and it went great, we had a really good time and then a couple of weeks after we were planning to see each other again and then she said she didn't think it was a good idea cause she liked another guy.
And it turned out there was no other guy, she had something else going on (No, I won't say what- that's her business).
Suffice to say, it made things awkward between us. And we didn't talk for a few weeks. At all.
And I messaged her on sat nite and we started talking again. And it went well, we said we missed each other, bla bla etc....
So I know we're meeting up soon, but I don't know what's going on with us.
Oh, who cares- sort it out when we get there.
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| Angry again! |
| 04.27.04 (10:00 pm) [edit] |
Alrighty, no more of this depression nonsense!
I'm right pissed off now!
My day started out well enough. Actually, it started brilliantly. I went to physio and guess what? I'm only out for a month!
He said I could start running in two weeks and training at about 50%. Woohoo!
And I could play again in 4-5 weeks!
He massaged my calves, saying they were 'very tight' and got me to do some exercises and stuff. He was fantastic, very nice man and knew his stuff.
After that I went to my favourite store in the world, Impact Records. No, not for the records but for their MASSIVE, comprehensive selection of..... COMICS!! :)
I picked up my subscription order (costs me about 50 bucks a month :shock: ), and caught the bus home.
Oh, on the way to physio, i realised I had left my keys at home. No mind, I thought, I'd ask my housemate to let me in and get them when I got back.
So I get into my room and go to where I usually leave my keys (next to my PC).
Not there.
I think, all the time looking through my desk for my keys.
Not there.
I know I had them in here last night. Think some more. Start to panic. Look frantically all over my room for the keys.
Not there.
Look around the house.
Not there.
By now, i'm getting :twisted: and trying to remember where I put them.
I know that I left them next to my PC last night. I remember putting them there. But I can't find them.
They're still lost, I can't find them anywhere. I've looked for an hour.
I need my keys! I'm fucked without them.
While I was panicking, I was thinking about all the cliches for finding things.
[b]"They're always in the last place you look"[/b] - Of course they are, you fuckwit! Do you keep looking after you find them?
[b]"Trace your steps"[/b] - Do you really think that if I could trace my steps I'd be looking frantically for my keys, tearing my hair out??
[b]"have you looked in the...." [/b]- Oh, no, I haven't looked in that blatantly obvious place cause I'm a fuckwit.
Shit, I'm going nuts here. I'm trying to figure out where they are but my mind keeps going back to one place- next to my PC.
But they're fucking not there!!!!
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| Fine, muddled mind, here you are! |
| 04.27.04 (7:37 am) [edit] |
Alright, one of my friends told me to update, but no depressing shit about my legs (she really cares, doesn't she?)....
Alright, so I'll talk about love, lust and stuff like that.
I'm not in love at the moment. I'm kinda in a weird place about this at the moment.
I love my work, i love my soccer. But I am kinda lonely. Although I don't mind my own company, often I will have longing for decent company.
Someone to hang out with. To talk to. To do stuff together.
And these longings invariably change to longing for love. I don't want sex. I've done it both ways- meaningless sex and sex with someone you love (no, not my right hand).
Meaningless sex is fun while you're doing it, but afterwards you think 'what the fuck did I just do?'. Invariably your every instinct wants the girl out of there and you want quiet reflection.
I've had a gutful of it.
I've only had sex with one person I loved. And guess what? It was great. It meant so much, it was really a sharing of love. I've never experienced anything like it. I want that again. I want to stay awake after having sex, in each others arms, just talking. Enjoying the moment.
I want someone to do stuff with. Someone who'll come over, or I go to theirs, and we just watch tv together, or just do our own thing in the same place.
Is it too much to ask? Yeah, i guess I have issues. My last relationship didn't end too well. There was no real closure on it. Often I'll think of her and miss her so much.
It fucking hurts. The feeling of remembering a moment with someone you love, then thinking of the person, then remembering they're not with you and you're not together, is the absolute loneliest feeling you can have. You literally feel empty.
I soldier on, I guess. Normally playing soccer, juggling a soccer ball or playing sport makes me happy and gives me something that helps me forget about loneliness. But take that away.
What have I got? Fuck all. So I'm lonely just about all the time. I ain't great at chatting women up and I'm worse at meeting new women.
Fuck. I tried asking someone on a date but it didn't go too well. I'll try again, i guess. I'll ask her if she wants to have lunch this week. Maybe dinner on friday?
I'm going to sydney this weekend. Staying in the city saturday night. In a hotel with my housemates. So kat, if you wanna meet up, I'm free saturday arvo after 2.... in the city. (it's a field trip, sat morning and sunday I'll be doing uni stuff, but I got all saturday after 2 free time)
BTW for other readers, Kat isn't the girl I've been talking about.
I do miss my last girlfriend. She was great. She also happened to turn 18 in december which made her want to be single so she could have some fun- but she 'still loved me'....
Fuck, it was a total mess. We got back together cause she missed me, then she left me again and it was all complicated and shit. Then I went back to uni and she doesn't even reply to my messages.
i dunno what to do. I probably wouldn't get back with her, even though I miss her. i'm pretty sure I don't love her anymore, but I do miss the feeling of loving her.
So the answer is to move on. play the game. whatever. But I got to find someone who wants me.
You know what's fucking weird? When I have a girlfriend, it's like all these girls want me. But when I'm single...... no one's interested.
Anyway, I could go on.... and on.... and on.
But I've got nothing to say i ain't said. So this seems like a good time to stop.
Life's a bitch- and then you die.
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| Results of doctors visit.... |
| 04.21.04 (7:36 pm) [edit] |
Shin Splints.
I have Shin Splints.
More accurately called Tibial Periostitis or Medial Tibial Stress Syndrome.
What does it all mean?
It means that I've pushed myself too hard and now I can't exert my legs for at least 2 months, maybe even 3.
Meaning I can't run, jump, or even walk too far.
The doctor says that if you work your bones, they make themselves stronger. If you work them very hard very fast they work faster which makes them vulnerable.
And if i keep exerting my legs I'll end up with stress fractures. Which are even worse.
So, I have to go to Physiotherapy and get regular X-Rays too.
It's frustrating. I can't run.
Yet soccer is the one thing I truly love.
The one release I have.
I've no idea what I'll do. I'm only 20 years old!
Already i have a very serious injury.
I'm fucked.
The soccer season kicked off last week! I didn't play cause my legs were sore (I know why now). I've trained the house down, getting myself ready for a big season and ironically, the thing that made me fit is the thing practically ending my season.
Now I know how those professional players feel when they get a long term injury....
Excuse me while I spiral into depression...
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| Questions about myself |
| 04.20.04 (1:40 am) [edit] |
Saw this on my friend's Blog. You can copy and paste it into your blogs if you want....
[b]Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says. [/b]He shook Donitz’s hand. “You better catch your train. Give my regards to Regina”.
A book called ‘top hook’ by Gordon kent.
[b]Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first? [/b]The wall
[b]What is the last thing you watched on TV?[/b] English Premier League highlights, last night.
[b]WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is.[/b] 6:20pm
[b]Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?[/b] 6:18pm
[b]With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?[/b] Dido’s ‘Hunter’ playing on my CD player
[b]When did you last step outside? What were you doing? [/b]About two hours ago. Went bowling.
[b]Before you came to this website, what did you look at?[/b] TalkFootball.com- football forum.
[b]
What are you wearing? [/b]My ‘I like melons’ T-Shirt, long shorts, joggers.
[b]Did you dream last night? [/b]Not that I recall
[b]When did you last laugh?[/b] Today, talking to kat and rach
[b]What is on the walls of the room you are in?[/b] A coldplay poster, a Sarah Michelle Gellar poster, a Simpsons poster, a David Beckham poster, a Romeo and Juliet movie poster, a LOTR:ROTK poster with Aragorn on it, a Penrith panthers poster, a Newcastle knights poster and an Andrew johns poster. And I’m planning on printing all the lyrics to my favourite songs in multicolour and posting them on the bare parts of my walls.
[b]Seen anything weird lately?[/b] Yeah, someone put their clothes in a washing machine- added no detergent. And left. Didn’t turn the washing machine on, just put them in there and left. Did he think it’d magically do itself?
[b]What do you think of this quiz?[/b] Interesting
[b]What is the last film you saw?[/b] Empire Records- officially my favourite movie ever now! Watched it 5 times in 3 days, if you’ve not seen this, you are totally missing out….
[b]If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?[/b] A car, I suppose- four door Mitsubishi triton with all the trimmings….. :) then a house.
[b]Tell me something about you that I don't know.[/b] Eggplant is my favourite food
[b]If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?[/b]
Spread all the money in the world evenly- how can people like Bill Gates have millions of billions of dollars and other people have nothing to their name? If you spread the wealth evenly, everyone would have plenty of money and the cost of living would go down.
[b]Do you like to dance?[/b] Yes, quite a lot, actually.
[b]George Bush: is he a power-crazy nut case or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?[/b] He’s a fucking nut case. He’s fucking illiterate- do you Americans really want someone who can’t even read and write properly as your head of state????
[b]Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?[/b] Good question…. Whatever we decide to call her?
[b]Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him? [/b]As above.
[b]Would you ever consider living abroad?[/b] Not really thought about it. Yeah, why not? I’d consider it, but that doesn’t mean I would do it.
[b]Will you pass on this survey?[/b] No.
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| Not angry enough.... |
| 04.19.04 (2:36 am) [edit] |
When I started this blog, I swore it wouldn't become a narcissistic 'Adrian Mole' diary sort of thing.
I've always been of the belief that your problems should remain your problems and you shouldn't whinge about things.
But since someone told me to update my Blog and I'm not angry enough to rant about anything, it looks like I'll have to resort to it.
I'm kind of down atm.
It's not one thing, it's lots of little things.
I had a good time over the easter weekend. But afterwards, when my mind had time to go over things, these thoughts made me sad.
I'll explain. I played soccer on the weekend. Good friday and easter saturday I played.
This was a selection tournament for the australian team. I played for NSW country.
But a conundrum. I'd been carrying an injury with my club side. I hurt it really badly at training the wednesday before good friday.
Playing through injuries and pain is second nature to me, but this one, the harder I tried the more it hurt and over the weekend it was at the stage where I had to choke down a scream every step i took on the field.
I couldn't run.
But because I wanted to play for australia, I did my damnedest to play through it.
While I wasn't shit, I wasn't as good as I wanted to be. I should have dominated on the pitch but I couldn't.
I wasn't picked. I wasn't that upset about it, because I knew i wasn't a certainty to be picked. But I thought I had a chance.
I was hurt. I needed time to recover. But I had no time. I had to play. Two games on badly injured legs is taking its toll. I can't play for three weeks. I can't even run at all. No training, no playing, no refereeing. I'll go nuts. My legs kill me every evening.
Was it worth it? I wasn't picked. I don't know.
Other things were that I saw people I'd not seen for a very long time.
Some people I was really glad to see and enjoyed my time with them- I was sad to leave them.
Other people I was happy to see but didn't talk much for lots of reasons- I was sad not to have spent more time with them.
Other people I did not want to see at all.
There are some people I wish I had not fallen out with. Others I hate, not because we fell out but because of the way they talk about me when I've not even seen them for years.
I keep to myself. I try to be the best person I can be. I do nothing to anyone. And my past catches up with me. People can't seem to let things go.
Kat, you're not one of them, alright?
Another thing, I'm single. Most of the time I can live with it. This weekend, I saw old girlfriends, girls I liked and girls i like now.
I didn't really do much with regards to picking up women or anything like that, but I was sad.
There were an awful lot of couples and it made me sad cause I've no-one.
Whilst I'm not desperate or anything, I have a longing to share myself with a special someone. It's deep down, and it hurts. It fucking hurts.
So, I'm starting the familiar downwards spiral into depression. I've not been depressed for years, I've been quite happy, but I'm missing people. I'm injured. My number one source of pleasure has been taken from me. I think too much about things.
I used to say this all the time. But I grew out of it and became quite happy.
But I'm feeling it again, so here we go.
[i]life's a bitch and then we die.[/i]
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| Macca's Checkouts... |
| 04.01.04 (1:03 am) [edit] |
I was with my best mate stu one morning and we felt like maccas for breakfast so we hopped in his van and drove there.
He wanted to go through the drive through but I convinced him it would be better to go inside (don't ask me why, I can't remember- I had a good reason, alright?)
So in we go.
We ordered a set of hotcakes each, a few hash browns and two sausage and egg mcmuffins. (We're growing men, alright?)
The girl goes, oh alright. I say, can we use EFTPOS please?
She didn't know how. She called the manager over and we waited 5 minutes. During these five minutes she had ample opportunity to put our breakfast in a bag and get it together.
What did she do?
She stood there like the bloody useless person that she is.
When she called the manager over, there was plenty of food, everything we ordered was ready. By the time the manager got there, we had to wait for the next batch of hotcakes and mcmuffins.
Whilst we were waiting, she got our hash browns and put them in a bag- wonderful idea, except we had to wait 5 minutes for the rest of our food.
What happened? The hash browns became cold.
Then the hotcakes and mcmuffins arrived and she put them in the bag and said have a nice day.
We said "what about our drinks?".
So we had to wait longer.
If she had got our stuff together while she waited for the manager, we'd have been in and out in 5 minutes.
Her ineffectiveness led to us waiting at least 15 minutes.
What really shits me is that she's wasn't even a trainee- she had gone through the training!
How do I know? there were two trainees in there and they were easily identifiable by their large 'Please be patient- training' badges they wore.
I don't even know how she passed her training, she was seriously useless.
Rant over.
Say hi to your mum for me.
Justin
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| How can this be?? |
| 03.30.04 (4:21 am) [edit] |
G'day all...
Over the uni break (Late Nov- Mid Feb) I got no less than 6 advertisements sent to my name from various finance companies urging me to get a credit card with them.
At first I rejected them all off the bat, but after a few incidents which could have been prevented by the simple ownership of a credit card, I decide to apply with Virgin credit card, simply because I'm with Virgin mobile and they are great, plus you get 5% discount off your mobile bill if you pay with a virgin credit card :)
So i applied, put down my income details, my personal information, etc.
I get more money then some of my friends who have their own credit cards (and mortgages, car payments, dependants, etc)....
I thought, 'there'll be no problem. I have no dependants, earn a decent income and have no large liablities (I have one small personal loan being paid off). I end up with twice as much cash in my account then my friends cause I have few, if any, financial responsibilities. I have great credit (never made a late payment on anything, let alone missed one!).'
What happened?
They rejected me. Without giving a reason!
A few weeks after the rejection, I got a sizable pay rise. So I applied again. The confirmation email (to say they received my application) said it would be 5-10 days before they got back to me in writing.
It's been 18 days, and not a damn peep.
My Rant is not that they rejected me, but that they practically begged me in their advertisements to join them.
It wasn't junk mail, per se. It was mail delivered to my address to my name.
I can't believe it, you know?
Rant over
Say hi to your mum for me
Justin
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| Introducing Jinzie.... |
| 03.28.04 (3:29 am) [edit] |
Alright, I've seen a few of these things and I thought I'd have a go myself.
To be honest, I'm not quite sure WHY I'm writing a blog.
Probably make me feel a bit important or something :)
Like some kind of rock star.
Alright, I'm 20 years old and Australian.
Me name's Justin, the jinzie thing is an extension of my nickname 'jin' (which is simply 'justin' shortened, and nothing asian, which a lot of people tend to think!!).
Ah, I guess I'll come on here every few days and have a rant- a lot of things piss me off (Am I allowed to swear on here?) and talking about them helps.
Anyway, I'll just think of a rant... won't be a proper 'Jinzie's Rants' without a rant, will it?
Yeah, I got one.
I'm doing a Soccer referee's course, right?
The area I live in has a shortage of referees- they NEED referees, ok?
So I sign up for it, and they say I'll have to pay 30 bucks for the course.
I went, ok, fair enough, I'll pay that. THEN they say, and there's a referee registration fee of $150. And I'm 'Christ!' but I agree to pay it. So I go to the course and it's all well and good. I pay my money and I'm learning, doing well (the ref's exam is tomorrow, incidentally. Should study!) and it's interesting, I'm lovin' it.
The second night of the course, they give us a price sheet for referee's equipment. I was expecting to have to buy a whistle, but I thought they'd at least give us a uniform, we have after all paid 180 bucks!
The referee's top ALONE costs 60 bucks. And seeing as you can't referee without one....
I was SPEWING.
They need referees, for crying out loud!
And a referee can expect to referee maybe two games a week. At 30 bucks a game.
So, I worked out that to get kitted out, and after registration and course fees, I'd have paid 300 dollars.
That's 10 games of refereeing.
Is it any bloody wonder there's a shortage of referees?
You'd think they'd provide you with a uniform, or at least not charge ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS just to register?
And on top of that, I had to pay 200 bucks AT THE SAME TIME to my soccer club for player registration fees! 200 bucks.... thats 500 bucks in soccer related things alone.
BUT my soccer clubs gives you your shorts, your socks and a jersey upon registration, free of charge. And we get sponsors perks, like cheap movie tickets (We're sponsored by Hoyts and Canberra Labor Club) and cheap club membership, free drinks at the club etc.
What do the referees get?
F##k all.
It's a bloody thankless job and we have to take a lot of shit, on top of getting paid barely enough to cover expenses.
DOES THIS SEEM RIGHT???
I took the course cause I wanted to give something back to the game, and also cause most referees are CRAP and I wanted to do something about it. I am doing THEM a favour- they should be paying me 200 bucks to take the course, or at least make it free!
It's damn ridiculous, I'm surprised they managed to get 15 people to turn up.
Ok, Rant over.
Until next time, love to all, say hi to your mum for me.
Justin
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